love lost, found - lost?

I dont if I lover her or is it the false feeling again? I yearn for her, but at the same time I feel like I should let her go. What should I do? If at all i get to meet the god, the only question i ll ask him is......why in the god's good heavens did he make a delay in getting me.....here. Well....lets say he did nt hv time for me....then why should he make me meet her and make me fall head over heels for her? And why should she be too good to me, when i dont deserve it?

I think its a part of his twisty screenplay...but how is it going to end?

For once, think selfless - says my heart.

life

When does a man really start making a life? I think its until his mere survival is questioned. Well, I eat - I drink - I walk - I breath --- I live?? If that is all the purpose of life, the life better need nt exist. Why does the infinite creator create this finite being to be parasitic? There definitely is more to life than a mere survival.

All i know is, I am learning. Learning to live.

All i ask is, make me walk the right path, for I am a beginner.

i did it

I dont really know if i have done it right or wrong. All that i know is i did it. Is it a selfish act or is it a self realising act? Well....if the letter reaches the right person, in a right way, at a right time and if the person could really get the message across....it is a self-realising act.

At times, when you cant judge yourself, the nature helps you by showing the way. `Being true to myself` is all I ask and the help of the universe that conspires around me. Please make me walk in the right path, for i dont know if the right is just mere belief of majority or a definite `aspect` of life??

.think BIG - is what I say myself - think BIG and do walk the thoughts.

into the wild

there is a lot of resistance thats putting me off from writing things down. But i fear, i might lose my thoughts into the blue...for brain is a volatile memory. Apart from being lost into no where, i keep walking away from my principles, quite often. Writing down will atleast help me in coming back and stick to what i think is right. Its also going to help me in keeping record of what i think of `were right or wrong`.

Basaiyo is sitting next to me watching some american TV shows online. Believe me...he is really into them. He has been keeping himself busy since february, well...i hv been occupying this computer in the library since feb as i no longer own one. This PC is Dell made and as old as my athlon xp computer which i owned at college. what i mean is...its from the same generation, which allows the the windows status bar run for 10 -12 times during the booting. Busaiyo, yea, loves ppl calling him `Bus`. For me.....Bus makes more sense than the name Busaiyo(which sounds like name of a wild creature, i dont know why). He blurts into laughter, all of sudden, the TV shows shud be entertaining him a lot.

What keeps a man happy?? It really is a mystery. Some find joy in wealth, pride, comfort, romance, adventure, ....and so on (well i ll keep adding as i find them). Believe me, it really is a mystery. Biologically, the DNA of 99% mankind is common....i mean only the remaining 1% defines human lives. Everything is hidden in that 1%. And that hidden factor makes the 6B population unique. Infact a rat's DNA matches with that of the human's upto an unbelievable percentage of 90. And we know what a rat is. But, do we know what we are?

I happened to watch this movie today, Into the wild. Many movies make an impact on me. I dont know why but i draw inspiration from a few movies. They say that some ppl draw inpiration from books, some from life itself. So that i am neither a great reader nor had a diverse life like some, I feel comfortable in imagining myself in all those characters played in the movies i watch. Some characters make me weep and some make me watch again. Into the wild, made me weep and is going to make me watch again. For, its a biographic movie about a man called Chris McCandless who lived in USA till 90s, for a brief period of time. He was only 25 when he was dead. And i think he is no less than alexander in inspiring ppl. Well...I rate him over alexander the great.

Coming to the way the movie was made, effort of each and every character must be appreciated. Good that non of the characters recieved an oscar, for each and every character deserves something more than just an oscar. I would say, Into the wild is the best bio-pic ever made.

Many movies inspired me , but this one made me write things down. I hope it helps me define life. I hope everyone finds it inspirational, either the book or the movie(or both). I hope Chris lives and inspires the genrations to come.

"I have had a happy life and thank the Lord. Goodbye and may God bless all!"
Chris McCandless, August 1991

time for a renewal

thousands, may be millions, of blogs die every day for one good reason...well a bad reason.

I wanna bring the charm back into my pages. I am to live in my pages from this day on.

....vesthunna eeeee kota lo paaga.....!

my computer is goanna restart in about 3 mins...kind of auto restart.

so....see u later mighty ppl!